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10 Paint Jobs Your Car Wouldn’t Be Caught Dead In

Updated May 27, 2018

There are a ton of really incredible custom automotive paint jobs out there, running the gamut from slick and bold to super detailed. Something as simple as choosing a unique color, like the gorgeous seafoam on this Nissan GTR by West Coast Customs, can make a paint job go from ordinary to amazing.

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Then there are artists like Allison LaValley, who used Sharpie markers to craft an impressively intricate design on her husband’s car.

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After she finished the artwork, the entire car was clear coated to protect the design, and the result is really quite stunning. From a distance, it’s much more subtle, but still super cool looking.

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Of course, as with everything in life, where there’s good, there’s bound to be bad. When you make the decision to give your ride that something extra, it would serve you well to really think about it first, and definitely have a professional do the work for you. The following ten cars are the worst custom paint jobs out there – some are ugly, some are strange, and some are just plain gross.  Click Next to check them out.

 

10. Cheetah Hybrid

I know there are a lot of people out there obsessed with cheetah print, but this is just not okay. The spots are too big, making it look more comical than fierce. And on a Prius? Really? It feels like an insult to the fastest land animal to put it’s skin on this sluggish hybrid.

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9. Ladies’ Man?

Oh, boy. This is a travesty. Just a really uncool thing to do to an Audi. I’m not even sure that this is actually paint; it’s entirely possible that he just put mud-flap girl stickers all over his car. Either way, yeuch. I’m not opposed to the sexy lady silhouette in general, but this is the epitome of tackiness.

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8. Mo’ Money, Mo’ Problems

I feel like this could have worked if it had been executed in a completely different way. Those Benjamins along the side just look goofy, and what’s with the extra large space between “Make It” and “Rain?” If you got rid of the bills, the dollar signs and the writing, this wouldn’t be terrible. But, as it stands, it’s pretty lame. If you’ve got to put cash on your car, you probably aren’t as big a baller as you think you are.

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7. Jesus Saves

While I may not be a believer, I’m pretty sure there’s something in the Bible that says this is a really bad idea. Something about graven images? The image itself actually looks really well done, but Jesus on your hood? Why?

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6. Cat Fancy

This unicorn-riding, gun-toting cat is higher on this “worst of” list than the Jesus hood mostly because of the weird, pixely rainbow and unfortunate placement of the hood ornament. This is a very strange bit of car art, and unless you’re competing in gishwhes, you should steer clear of doing this to your car.

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5. Finger Painting

While we’re on the subject of things not to do to your car…finger painting is best reserved for small children in smocks, and tie-dye should stay on clothes (well, really, tie-dye should just go away all together, but if people continue to insist on it, let’s keep it on clothes).

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4. Designer Designs

I don’t even know where to start with this. I’m surprised that whoever did this paint job had the balls to actually sign his name to it. This is another design that should stay on clothing. Burberry would be highly offended by this poor imitation.

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3. Cheez Whiz

All I can think of with this car is spray cheese. I don’t understand the braille-like bumps, I don’t understand the spray painted rims and tires. The whole thing is just so bad. So very, very bad.

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2. Hot Mess

Why? Why would you paint your car to look like you’re Rick Grimes and you’d just plowed through a swarm of walkers? Or worse, actual, living people? Ugh. Give me a minute, I think I just might be sick…

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1.Baby Maker

The owner of this car is just the worst. The reason this sperm car beat out Bloody Mary in #2 is the fact that someone’s going to have to explain this to their kids. What has happened to society that someone covers their vehicle in sperm? Oy vey. Does it feel like maybe this guy’s overcompensating for something?

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Calvin Escobar
About Calvin Escobar

The Car scene is so diverse Where I come from, most enthusiasts recognize the amazing engineering (particularly the engines). The bulk of the ridicule originates from the manner in which many of the vehicles are modded/maintained. Thus, the jokes and or hate tends to be aimed more at the owner rather than the machine. All of which makes seeing properly sorted old Toyota's and Hondas at car meets, auto shows, and track days all the more refreshing.

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