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Dukes of WTF

Published November 10, 2012

I love the classic Dodge Charger and I grew up watching the Dukes of Hazzard, and to find out that they want to change one of my bucket list cars gets my deranged mind working. Enjoy

With the unbeknownst threat of a Confederate flag offending everyone, we see that General Lee models are removing the flag from the iconic car as to help ease the pain that comes with seeing the flag. So this got me thinking about casting an all new and all politically correct cast for a remake of the Dukes of Hazard. Now today we know that in order to have a show that won’t have Sharpton or Maddow lambasting the series means that we need to be open to all individuals except Christians and Republicans because these people that don’t believe in Marxism. So here is the cast for the new Dukes of Hazzard –

Now “The General” would have to have some massive changes done in order to be less offensive. So first off the Charger becomes a Prius as it is friendlier to the environment. The Confederate flag is replaced with a Coexist flag. The General is still called the general but Lee gets changed to Grant. Now we can’t have a horn that blows Dixie when you honk so instead it sounds a verse from the Vagina Monologues narrated by Oprah.

In episode one, we would find the Duke boys protesting the possible entrance of a Chic Fil-A into their town until they get a call from their friend Ziggy Epstein (played by Screech) who was coming back from Coachella to his sprout farm just outside Berkley only to find out that Boss Hogg is working with “Big Oil” to place a highway right through his farm. Now Boss Hogg knows that the Duke Boys will be coming so he sets a trap by kidnapping Daisy and chaining her to the front of his Hummer while feeding her non-free range chicken from KFC with a side of hot pork cracklins.

The boys find them in a sticky situation like a June bug caught in a jar of patchouli. It’s up to the Duke boys “gal pal” Cooter to find a way to get the Prius’s hybrid drive to fork out an extra few ponies while still staying smog certified. The boys will need all the help they can get in order to make a jump over Boss’s bulldozers in order to save Daisy from breaking her vegan ways.

This article was written to poke fun at the hyper-sensitivity there seems to be for issues that are non-existent. The car was from a show that many of us grew up with as children. It was just a show and at no time did we as viewers want to go out and secede from the union or cause any racially charged hatred because the Duke boys told us it’s alright. Besides with all this political correctness it seems that everyone is more pissed off and offended more easily than ever. Enjoy your life.

“Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow has not yet come. We have only today. Let us begin.”
― Mother Teresa

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Uriah Nazario
About Uriah Nazario

If you are easily offended and like to comment about how your feelings are hurt then you won't like my style of writing. I speak my mind (which is deranged) and yes it is often offensive. I am open for debate but not whining. I appreciate all my readers and hope my articles put a smile on your face.

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