Home > Car Culture >  

These Bumper Stickers Will Make Laughs, Not Friends

A list of some of the best bumper stickers we’ve seen in 2019 that are guaranteed to offend most everybody

jeep hummer bumper sticker

Disclaimer:  Please do not read if you’re the crybaby type that is easily offended…  Actually, on second thought, please read!

For decades, bumper stickers have been the voice of a drivers’ opinion and also bring great joy to many.  However, they’re also known to bring great anger to many drivers as well (which, in turn, brings great joy to the driver sporting the bumper sticker).

Best Bumper Sticker #15 – “Hold my Beer and Watch This” bumper sticker.  Famous last words!

hold my beer watch this bumper sticker

Best Bumper Sticker #14 – “Gun control is buying one gun when you wanted to buy three” sticker.   It won’t shut the liberals up, but Amen!

Gun control bumper sticker

Best Bumper Sticker #13 – “America – Love it or leave it” sticker.  Exactly what I’ve been thinking for years..

America bumper sticker

Best Bumper Sticker #12 – “Keep your dick beaters off my truck” sticker.  This is the perfect anti-theft sticker.

Dick Beaters off my truck bumper sticker

Best Bumper Sticker #11 – “Making my family” window sticker.  This sticker is the perfect sticker for any single man.  Also a great invitation for attractive women to assist you in your mission!

Making my family bumper sticker #1

Best Bumper Sticker #10 – “Making my family” window sticker #2.  This is a slightly better and more visual sticker than sticker #11.

Making my family sticker #2

Best Bumper Sticker #9 – “One of the last white sheetrock hangers” This could actually bring you quite a bit of business if marketed properly.  Kind of like the old “Made in the USA stickers”.

Last white sheetrock hanger

Best Bumper Sticker #8 – “No Baby on Board” Durex bumper sticker.  Don’t be a fool.. Wrap your tool!

No Baby on Board Bumper Sticker

Best Bumper Sticker #7 – “I will shit in your mouth” sticker.  The ultimate bumper sticker for those that don’t like to have somebody up their ass while driving around town.  This sticker is also amazing for those people like me who just wish shit upon people’s mouths.

Shit in your mouth bumper sticker

Best Bumper Sticker #6 – “Warning!  Choking Hazard – Male package contains large parts.  Keep out of reach of small women”  This one is almost guaranteed to offend most women and all soccer moms!

Choking Hazard Bumper Sticker

Best Bumper Sticker #5 – “Of course you don’t see any Obama stickers.  I’m driving to work.”

No obama stickers because I work

Best Bumper Sticker #4 – “Caution!  This vehicle makes frequent stop at your Mom’s house”  It’s amazing how “Your Momma” jokes never grow old.

Caution - Frequent Stops Bumper Sticker

Best Bumper Sticker #3 – “I heart Gay Porn” rainbow bumper sticker.  This may be the absolute best way to get revenge on a friend.  If they’ve really pissed you off, be sure to apply the bumper sticker on a scorching hot day so that it is nearly impossible to get off.

I heart gay porn bumper sticker

Best Bumper Sticker #2 – “D.A.R.E to be gay” sticker.  Get picked up by some asshole police officer?  If you know where he resides – go stealth mode at night and plop this genius sticker on his squad car.  Also another great revenge sticker for your friend’s ride!

Dare to be gay

Best Bumper Sticker #1 – “It’s a Jeep – If I wanted a Hummer I’d call your sister.”  Here is a bumper sticker that any man or Jeep owner would appreciate.

jeep hummer bumper sticker

So there you have it. Have you seen any other hilariously inappropriate funny bumper stickers that we should know about? Let us know in comments!



Chris Riley
About Chris Riley

I have been wrecking cars for as long as I've been driving them, but I keep coming back for more. Two wheels or four, I'm all in. I founded GearHeads.org and then built and ran AutoWise.com until selling it to Lola Digital Media in 2020. I look forward to watching AutoWise grow as part of the AllGear group.